i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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