WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Girls should come with a carfax report
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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