if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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