why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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