Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
