Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
