Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
