He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
That's intense
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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