dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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