so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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