we have officially lost it.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
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