i don't like sucking hair
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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