dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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