I'm gonna have a badass scar
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
