Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
