I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
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