What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
