belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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