you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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