Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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