The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
