Why are handjobs necessary in class?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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