Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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