if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
