Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
