Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
