im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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