Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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