This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
