i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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