I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
And then my night got REAL pukey
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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