thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
If its not for food we ain't going out.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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