she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
