By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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