omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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