Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
