hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
