Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize