he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
