Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
