I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
