You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
