Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
