No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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