Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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