Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
