Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
