Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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