I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
