420 ftw
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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