I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know đ
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick âmy pegasusâ weâre not friends anymore
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
