i was rollin on her like bob the builder
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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