You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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