i may or may not be watching the land before time
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize