Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
