was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
