I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
