Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
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There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
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We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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