thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
