i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
