two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize