butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
