ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize